Fantasy 2020 POTUS Debate Format

The debate we all really want to see between Trump and Biden.

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Calling it a clusterfuck is an understatement…

Press to Talk with a Twist

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The Buzzer

  • The longer the debater holds down the button when it’s not their turn to speak, the more the handle will heat up.
  • The handle only cools down while it’s not the debater’s turn to speak.
  • If the debater drops or lets go of their buzzer (like holding it lightly with their fingers or using their sleeve to hold it), they forfeit their next allotted time for rebuttal.

The Booth

  • Starting at 68°F/20°C, the temperature in the booth heats up 1°F/0.56°C every time a debater uses their buzzer to interrupt or holds down the button for more than their allotted time.
  • If the debater passes out or is forced to leave their booth, they forfeit the debate entirely and their opponent gets the rest of the time to run whatever programming their campaign chooses.

Fact-Checking with Teath

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Danger: High voltage!
  • Mostly True — Small pin prickle shock️
  • Half True — Static shock level
  • Mostly False — Weak electric livestock fence
  • False — Strong electric livestock fence
  • Pants on Fire — Cattle prod

Fact-Checkers

The truth is that humans are biased creatures. To make the fact-checking as fair as possible, there would need to be a panel of anonymous fact-checkers from various organizations who would determine the level of shock based on an average of their judgments about the level of the lie happens to be. And the panelists would be chosen by the candidates’ picks for Vice President.

Chill, It’s Just a Fantasy

Obviously, very few politicians would ever agree to put this much skin into their game. And the thought that either presidential candidate in 2020 would have the moxie agree to such a format — or even the physical prowess to withstand it — is laughable. But we can dream, can’t we?

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